Dear Church,
This year has been incredible.
After returning from India in December, I went through a season of awareness of earth's brokenness. In the mornings I had to grab onto hope with both hands and in the evenings I would not sleep until my soul found rest and escape from the weight of the day. He was enough. Understatement.
Joy was present, but it was hindered. I was more focused on what there is to lose, instead of what there is to gain. I was distracted by the desires of my flesh and could not fully delight myself in the Lord. I remembered His whispers to me in the night:
"My child, your delight will be as full as your surrender."
Selah.
More recently, when I lost the one thing that I begged Him not to take, I began to experience a freedom that I would not trade anything for. Job said, "The Lord gives, and the Lord takes away."
Lately I've been viewing it the other way around: He takes away so that He can give. The Lord gave Job double what he had before it was taken away. And now He gives beauty for ashes; Love's unselfish trade-off.
(At this point, I would love to interject a poorly-made exegesis on Psalm 44. The beginning explains how He gave His people abundant victory and strength. Verse eight takes a turn and goes into an explanation of how He made them "a reproach" to their neighbors, "the scorn and derision" of those around them. Swooping in with verse 17, the writer proclaims, "All this happened to us, though we had not forgotten You or been false to Your covenant. Our hearts had not turned back...but You crushed us..." The Psalm ends with a desperate request: "Rise up and help us; save us because of Your unfailing love." He did what was pleasing to Himself. The Lord is gracious and just; strong and beautiful; dangerous and irresistible. More on that...now?)
Switching gears:
When some friends of mine were sifting through their relationship, the only thing that would come out of my mouth (and fingertips) toward them had to do with their identity in Christ. I was not aiming to sound like my pastor and friends who "got it." It just...happened.
But as the days progressed, the Spirit began a new work in me: I began to understand more than ever before the implications of the power of sin and my identity in Christ. Or better yet -- Christ's identity in me!
If Christ is in me, and if His Word is true, and if my flesh is the only thing that is left to be redeemed -- then my lot is joy, rest, and awe. Christ is in me. All of Him. All the time. He fulfilled the law. He fulfilled me! Now all there is to do is let the cat out of the bag -- let the Jesus out of the me. He knows how. He gives strength for rest. He prompts me to ask for strength to rest so He can work through me. He does things before I even ask. He is Sovereign and in control. And me? I get to follow Him around.
And He has promised an unimaginable future for His people. This life is easy to "do," but it can be difficult to endure. Creation is longing in eager expectation for our adoption as sons. Just a few more weary days and then -- we'll fly away. His Word illuminates the path of delight. Daily, hourly we choose to delight in the Spirit or in the flesh. One will endure; the other will pass away. Treasures stored up in heaven will never spoil or fade.
Conclusion? Never! My thoughts are scattered and I do not know how to formulate them properly,but I cannot help but tell about these things. Jesus is alive and surrender is delight.
Restored and in awe,
bd
**The purpose of this post is two-fold: To release thoughts that have been building up and to remind the Church of her first Love. It is not to display my "wisdom" (foolishness), but rather, this:
"My purpose is that they may be encouraged in heart and united in love, so that they may have the full riches of complete understanding, in order that they may know the mystery of God, namely, Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge." Colossians 2:2-3
"The new self...is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its creator." Colossians 3:10
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
Hope of Glory
Dear Church,
A facebook friend of mine recently asked me how my time in India was. This is what came out:
"That's a loaded question. ;-) I spent last semester in India working with orphans, lepers, and those in the slums.
Short story: We got to see God's provision in a way that shook me awake to His graciousness.
A few weeks after arriving, we did a teaching to the kids in the Christian children's home based on John 6 (when Jesus fed the five thousand) and Philippians 4:19. "And my God will meet all your needs according to the glorious riches that are in Christ Jesus."
We had each of the 35 children write their name on a paper fish and put it on a big piece of white paper that was hung in the hallway outside of the girls' rooms.
One day in November, our American contact sat my team down and began a heavy conversation with a desperate prayer. He then jumped right to the issue:
"Asha House is in danger of closing. There is not enough money to get them through December."
We were hit with reality. If God did not provide for these precious children, they were going to be released into the streets of Delhi to fend and beg for themselves. I had seen enough of this -- children begging -- already, and to this day it stirs up rage within me.
Needless to say, we had to DO something.
We immediately contacted our supporters and told them the situation that needed to be acted upon as soon as possible.
A challenge was given for the Body of Christ to seek first His kingdom and store up treasures there.
A challenge was given to consider others as better than ourselves.
A challenge was given to believe that all things are a loss compared to knowing Christ.
I could go on.
The Old Testament came alive to me again. In Nehemiah, he prays for his people,
"...they are Your servants and Your people, whom You have redeemed by Your great strength and Your mighty hand. O Lord, let Your ear be attentive to the prayer of this your servant and to the prayer of Your servants who delight in revering Your name. Give Your servant success today by granting him favor..."
And this, from Daniel, caused me to weep,
"Now, our God, hear the prayers and petitions of Your servant. For Your sake, O Lord, look with favor on Your desolate sanctuary. Give ear, O God, and hear; open Your eyes and see the desolation of the city that bears Your name. We do not make requests of You because we are righteous, but because of Your great mercy. (!!) O Lord, listen! O Lord, forgive! O Lord, hear and act! For Your sake, O my God, do not delay, because Your city and Your people bear Your name."
The thought of Asha House ("Asha" means "hope" in Hindi) closing was inconceivable to me. These kids are the future light of India! This home is a place where transformation happens and the gospel is made known every day! I'm telling you, kids that have been exposed to the truth and reality of His love are so visibly different over there. Those who were once closed off and reclusive begin to dance. They play. You should hear them laugh! God makes Himself so known there. With all of that in place, everything within me was screaming, "This place CAN'T shut down!!"
And you know what? It didn't. It still hasn't. Over $12,000 came like a flood within a matter of weeks. It was neither under nor over what was needed. "Neither poverty nor riches..."
I envy their opportunity for such faith. And I wonder how much of that opportunity can be had here. I believe now that it's not about the condition of my finances or abilities, but about my God. It's not about me. And that's the greatest thing to hear when my inadequacies are always before me.
So, that's a small bit of how India was. Our God is powerful and compassionate. And there's a lot more where that came from. :-)
Oh -- and if you're interested in donating to them, as they're always needing donations, check out
http://ashahouse.org/
-------------------------
Yours for the Kingdom,
bd
A facebook friend of mine recently asked me how my time in India was. This is what came out:
"That's a loaded question. ;-) I spent last semester in India working with orphans, lepers, and those in the slums.
Short story: We got to see God's provision in a way that shook me awake to His graciousness.
A few weeks after arriving, we did a teaching to the kids in the Christian children's home based on John 6 (when Jesus fed the five thousand) and Philippians 4:19. "And my God will meet all your needs according to the glorious riches that are in Christ Jesus."
We had each of the 35 children write their name on a paper fish and put it on a big piece of white paper that was hung in the hallway outside of the girls' rooms.
One day in November, our American contact sat my team down and began a heavy conversation with a desperate prayer. He then jumped right to the issue:
"Asha House is in danger of closing. There is not enough money to get them through December."
We were hit with reality. If God did not provide for these precious children, they were going to be released into the streets of Delhi to fend and beg for themselves. I had seen enough of this -- children begging -- already, and to this day it stirs up rage within me.
Needless to say, we had to DO something.
We immediately contacted our supporters and told them the situation that needed to be acted upon as soon as possible.
A challenge was given for the Body of Christ to seek first His kingdom and store up treasures there.
A challenge was given to consider others as better than ourselves.
A challenge was given to believe that all things are a loss compared to knowing Christ.
I could go on.
The Old Testament came alive to me again. In Nehemiah, he prays for his people,
"...they are Your servants and Your people, whom You have redeemed by Your great strength and Your mighty hand. O Lord, let Your ear be attentive to the prayer of this your servant and to the prayer of Your servants who delight in revering Your name. Give Your servant success today by granting him favor..."
And this, from Daniel, caused me to weep,
"Now, our God, hear the prayers and petitions of Your servant. For Your sake, O Lord, look with favor on Your desolate sanctuary. Give ear, O God, and hear; open Your eyes and see the desolation of the city that bears Your name. We do not make requests of You because we are righteous, but because of Your great mercy. (!!) O Lord, listen! O Lord, forgive! O Lord, hear and act! For Your sake, O my God, do not delay, because Your city and Your people bear Your name."
The thought of Asha House ("Asha" means "hope" in Hindi) closing was inconceivable to me. These kids are the future light of India! This home is a place where transformation happens and the gospel is made known every day! I'm telling you, kids that have been exposed to the truth and reality of His love are so visibly different over there. Those who were once closed off and reclusive begin to dance. They play. You should hear them laugh! God makes Himself so known there. With all of that in place, everything within me was screaming, "This place CAN'T shut down!!"
And you know what? It didn't. It still hasn't. Over $12,000 came like a flood within a matter of weeks. It was neither under nor over what was needed. "Neither poverty nor riches..."
I envy their opportunity for such faith. And I wonder how much of that opportunity can be had here. I believe now that it's not about the condition of my finances or abilities, but about my God. It's not about me. And that's the greatest thing to hear when my inadequacies are always before me.
So, that's a small bit of how India was. Our God is powerful and compassionate. And there's a lot more where that came from. :-)
Oh -- and if you're interested in donating to them, as they're always needing donations, check out
http://ashahouse.org/
-------------------------
Yours for the Kingdom,
bd
Monday, January 25, 2010
Deconstruction --> Reconstruction
Dear Church,
Therefore I ask you not to lose heart at my tribulations on your behalf, for they are your glory. Ephesians 3:13
I was scared to be broken and wrecked for the Kingdom.
My fears were illegitimate. I used to think those lies were clever.
Surrender. It is so worth it because it is about His glory filling the people of His kingdom that will never be shaken. His way is perfect.
The more I have chased His glory, the more I have found His humility because of the glory He left to take on servanthood.
Jesus. He left an eternity of perfect, unhindered communion with the Father and the Spirit. Why? He wants us.
Can I not also walk away from imperfect dreams and selfish hopes and prideful intentions for the sake of bringing His kingdom to earth? When I stand before Him at the end of my life, how could I ever regret surrender and obedience? That is the preferred option!
And how could I regret suffering? I am reminded of Paul.
"...And now, behold, bound by the Spirit, I am on my way to Jerusalem, not knowing what will happen to me there, except that the Holy Spirit solemnly testifies to me in every city, saying that bonds and afflictions await me. But I do not consider my life of any account as dear to myself, so that I may finish my course and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify solemnly of the gospel of the grace of God." (Acts 20:22-24)
Could I presume that he regretted going to Jerusalem because he was beaten there? Absolutely not! He had marks on his body for the rest of his life to remind him of how the Spirit moved in that city.
Suffering was a reason to rejoice. God was using his obedience to bring salvation to many.
And as for us -- we have been crucified with Christ. Anything that we could sacrifice has been trumped by what He sacrificed on our behalf, gracing us with all the reward that He deserved in His perfection. Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness. You will not be disappointed.
Therefore I ask you not to lose heart at my tribulations on your behalf, for they are your glory. Ephesians 3:13
I was scared to be broken and wrecked for the Kingdom.
My fears were illegitimate. I used to think those lies were clever.
Surrender. It is so worth it because it is about His glory filling the people of His kingdom that will never be shaken. His way is perfect.
The more I have chased His glory, the more I have found His humility because of the glory He left to take on servanthood.
Jesus. He left an eternity of perfect, unhindered communion with the Father and the Spirit. Why? He wants us.
Can I not also walk away from imperfect dreams and selfish hopes and prideful intentions for the sake of bringing His kingdom to earth? When I stand before Him at the end of my life, how could I ever regret surrender and obedience? That is the preferred option!
And how could I regret suffering? I am reminded of Paul.
"...And now, behold, bound by the Spirit, I am on my way to Jerusalem, not knowing what will happen to me there, except that the Holy Spirit solemnly testifies to me in every city, saying that bonds and afflictions await me. But I do not consider my life of any account as dear to myself, so that I may finish my course and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify solemnly of the gospel of the grace of God." (Acts 20:22-24)
Could I presume that he regretted going to Jerusalem because he was beaten there? Absolutely not! He had marks on his body for the rest of his life to remind him of how the Spirit moved in that city.
Suffering was a reason to rejoice. God was using his obedience to bring salvation to many.
And as for us -- we have been crucified with Christ. Anything that we could sacrifice has been trumped by what He sacrificed on our behalf, gracing us with all the reward that He deserved in His perfection. Seek first His kingdom and His righteousness. You will not be disappointed.
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Welcome to the Planet (Written in India)
(I know that all two of you who follow this blog have read this already, but I wanted it to be posted here.)
--
Welcome to the fallout
While driving to the leper colony last week, I listened to Switchfoot's "Dare You to Move." In my mind I was merely selecting an album I hadn't listened to in a while, but it turned into much more than that.
Welcome to resistance
We came to a stop in traffic. A beggar -- no, a precious and beloved woman came to the window. She was obviously begging. Her red sari and crooked teeth didn't take me by surprise. Her leathered skin and foggy eyes weren't unusual sights. Her persistence in knocking at our window wasn't out of the ordinary.
The tension is here
But the words that hit my ears were ripping me to shreds.
The tension is here
I tried unsuccessfully to avoid making eye contact with windows of pain. This is her life.
Between who you are and who you could be
So unnerving...and I think she and I are different? One begs, another gives. But both die. Neither of us chose to be born. Who breathes without need of Christ?
Between how it is and how it should be
This isn't fair. This isn't fair. This isn't fair.
I have never felt so responsible for poverty: I looked at myself with my headphones through the window to a woman with empty hands and an emptier stomach. Dichotomy, anyone? And what about her soul -- is that empty too?
I dare you to move
Traffic continued as usual.
I dare you to move
I didn't. I couldn't.
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
What just happened? It had to be about more than food.
I dare you to move
But what will become of her if I ignore her need? And even if I can give to her now, she will be hungry again in a few hours, if that. She needs hope beyond all of this. She needs a Savior. So do I. Constantly.
I dare you to move - like today never happened
--
My heart won't cease to be raw towards every beggar I see. But as painful and uncomfortable as that is, it is given by the Lord, and I am thankful for it.
"What would Jesus do?" What did He do? He healed the sick and raised the dead. He drove out demons and played with children. But in His human form, He only interacted personally with a very small percentage of humanity. As far as we know, He passed by people that He didn't look at, He didn't get to touch everyone, and there was a lot more that He "could have" done. Or so it would seem...
But His Kingdom is not of this world.
He only did what His Father told Him to do.
And so I say, I can do nothing for these beautiful people. I cannot even do anything for myself. I can only receive and be transformed by His power into an instrument of His grace.
And His grace towards me glorifies Himself because it leaves no room for me to boast.
This is not to say that I am lowly, wretched, and worthless.
Apart from Him I can do nothing. But that is my joy! Did you hear that? The pressure is off for me to be strong enough, wise enough, brave enough, or loving enough. When I am weak, I am strong because His grace is sufficient.
He wired us to depend on Him, to live abundantly only when drinking from the Source of Life -- and that dependence is our rest, Church!
We have been crucified with Christ and we no longer live, but Christ lives in us. The life we live in the Body we live by faith in the Son of God who loved us and gave Himself for us. (Galatians 2:20)
Praying for you all with love and brokenness and joy,
bd
Trust in Him at all times, O people, pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge... Psalm 62:8
--
Welcome to the fallout
While driving to the leper colony last week, I listened to Switchfoot's "Dare You to Move." In my mind I was merely selecting an album I hadn't listened to in a while, but it turned into much more than that.
Welcome to resistance
We came to a stop in traffic. A beggar -- no, a precious and beloved woman came to the window. She was obviously begging. Her red sari and crooked teeth didn't take me by surprise. Her leathered skin and foggy eyes weren't unusual sights. Her persistence in knocking at our window wasn't out of the ordinary.
The tension is here
But the words that hit my ears were ripping me to shreds.
The tension is here
I tried unsuccessfully to avoid making eye contact with windows of pain. This is her life.
Between who you are and who you could be
So unnerving...and I think she and I are different? One begs, another gives. But both die. Neither of us chose to be born. Who breathes without need of Christ?
Between how it is and how it should be
This isn't fair. This isn't fair. This isn't fair.
I have never felt so responsible for poverty: I looked at myself with my headphones through the window to a woman with empty hands and an emptier stomach. Dichotomy, anyone? And what about her soul -- is that empty too?
I dare you to move
Traffic continued as usual.
I dare you to move
I didn't. I couldn't.
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor
What just happened? It had to be about more than food.
I dare you to move
But what will become of her if I ignore her need? And even if I can give to her now, she will be hungry again in a few hours, if that. She needs hope beyond all of this. She needs a Savior. So do I. Constantly.
I dare you to move - like today never happened
--
My heart won't cease to be raw towards every beggar I see. But as painful and uncomfortable as that is, it is given by the Lord, and I am thankful for it.
"What would Jesus do?" What did He do? He healed the sick and raised the dead. He drove out demons and played with children. But in His human form, He only interacted personally with a very small percentage of humanity. As far as we know, He passed by people that He didn't look at, He didn't get to touch everyone, and there was a lot more that He "could have" done. Or so it would seem...
But His Kingdom is not of this world.
He only did what His Father told Him to do.
And so I say, I can do nothing for these beautiful people. I cannot even do anything for myself. I can only receive and be transformed by His power into an instrument of His grace.
And His grace towards me glorifies Himself because it leaves no room for me to boast.
This is not to say that I am lowly, wretched, and worthless.
Apart from Him I can do nothing. But that is my joy! Did you hear that? The pressure is off for me to be strong enough, wise enough, brave enough, or loving enough. When I am weak, I am strong because His grace is sufficient.
He wired us to depend on Him, to live abundantly only when drinking from the Source of Life -- and that dependence is our rest, Church!
We have been crucified with Christ and we no longer live, but Christ lives in us. The life we live in the Body we live by faith in the Son of God who loved us and gave Himself for us. (Galatians 2:20)
Praying for you all with love and brokenness and joy,
bd
Trust in Him at all times, O people, pour out your hearts to Him, for God is our refuge... Psalm 62:8
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
Disclaimers and Cliff-hangers
Dear Church,
I do not tell you what I tell you for any purpose other than making God look good. I will write of great suffering and affliction, not to focus on the effects of sin in this world but to tell you how much farther His grace reaches. I do not tell of these struggles to make yours seem small in comparison, but to remind you that the same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead is the same Spirit that resides in His people. In other words, if He can raise the dead to life and speak things into existence, what can't He do? How could I say, "God, I believe that You raised Jesus Christ from the dead, but I don't believe that You can provide food for my family tonight"?
Paul -- who penned over half of the New Testament -- knew pain. In 2 Corinthians 11:24-31 he boasts of everything he has endured: beatings, shipwrecks, threats, constant danger. Suffering was coupled with his obedience to the Lord. He wrote that our present sufferings are not worth comparing to the glory that will be revealed to us. He called these earthly afflictions "light and momentary."
Rape.
Sex-trafficking.
Adultery.
Divorce.
Poverty.
Starvation.
Injustice.
Violence.
Murder.
Light. Momentary. All of it.
I guess I don't understand, but I am compelled to write, so here I am.
Why did Paul endure so much? He was fixed on a King whose Kingdom would never be shaken.
In the days and months to come, I will be posting stories and pictures of people whose lives have been altered by suffering. But again, my purpose for gazing into the well of sin and suffering is to see and portray that the grace given us in Jesus Christ far surpasses anything else in all creation.
Restored,
bd
I do not tell you what I tell you for any purpose other than making God look good. I will write of great suffering and affliction, not to focus on the effects of sin in this world but to tell you how much farther His grace reaches. I do not tell of these struggles to make yours seem small in comparison, but to remind you that the same Spirit that raised Christ from the dead is the same Spirit that resides in His people. In other words, if He can raise the dead to life and speak things into existence, what can't He do? How could I say, "God, I believe that You raised Jesus Christ from the dead, but I don't believe that You can provide food for my family tonight"?
Paul -- who penned over half of the New Testament -- knew pain. In 2 Corinthians 11:24-31 he boasts of everything he has endured: beatings, shipwrecks, threats, constant danger. Suffering was coupled with his obedience to the Lord. He wrote that our present sufferings are not worth comparing to the glory that will be revealed to us. He called these earthly afflictions "light and momentary."
Rape.
Sex-trafficking.
Adultery.
Divorce.
Poverty.
Starvation.
Injustice.
Violence.
Murder.
Light. Momentary. All of it.
I guess I don't understand, but I am compelled to write, so here I am.
Why did Paul endure so much? He was fixed on a King whose Kingdom would never be shaken.
In the days and months to come, I will be posting stories and pictures of people whose lives have been altered by suffering. But again, my purpose for gazing into the well of sin and suffering is to see and portray that the grace given us in Jesus Christ far surpasses anything else in all creation.
Restored,
bd
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