A very wise and very animated woman said to me a few years ago, "The Bible teaches itself." My mind was blown. The words below are put in purposeful order. Every word of God is flawless; Hallelujah.
Matthew 22:36-40 - "Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?" And He said to him, "'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets."
1 Peter 1:22 - Since you have in obedience to the truth purified your souls for a sincere love of the brethren, fervently love one another from the heart, for you have been born again not of seed which is perishable but imperishable, that is, through the living and enduring word of God.
1 John 4:15-16 - Whoever confesses that Jesus is the Son of God, God abides in him, and he in God. We have come to know and have believed the love which God has for us. God is love, and the one who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him.
John 15:4-5 - Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me. I am the vine; you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.
Galatians 5:22 - The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self control.
1 Corinthians 13:4-9 - Love is patient, love is kind and it not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails.
John 15:4-5 - Abide in Me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit of itself unless it abides in the vine, so neither can you unless you abide in Me. I am the vine; you are the branches; he who abides in Me and I in him, he bears much fruit, for apart from Me you can do nothing.
1 Corinthians 13:2 - If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing.
Galatians 5:6 - The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.
1 Corinthians 16:14 - Do everything in love.
1 John 4:9 - God is love.
John 15:9 - Abide in My love.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
The Shepherd's Longing
More of this story will be recorded here at a later time. But for now, this:
Mumbai. Night. Spirit in me was jumping and urging me to go out. I didn't know where He would take me; I just knew I was going somewhere. He filled me with joy.
"By faith Abraham went out, not knowing where he was going..." Hebrews 11.
I had a small bag with me. I stepped out. The elevator took me down six levels.
"Take nothing with you..." Matthew 9.
I took a walk back upstairs. Giddy. Empty hands now. Full heart of Abba's love that was begging to be expressed.
"Having nothing yet possessing all things." 2 Corinthians 6.
A walk down six flights of stairs. A step out into the night. One foot in front of the other. Confidence; thoughts of mighty protection invisible to me becoming visible to those who would harm me. A quiet smile. Papa's got me. He's leading me. I'm excited.
A road. A rickshaw. A bhaiya.
"Carter Road?"
He didn't understand what I said.
"I'm sorry ma'am..."
Sovereignty. Guess I'm not going there tonight. I laughed to myself and thought of the next place I knew.
"Linking Road?"
I said it before I thought it through. Sovereignty.
"Yes ma'am."
Ahh...yes. That was where I met those kids and adults who live and sleep outside of McDonald's and KFC.
Here we go.
Twenty minutes. Maybe thirty. Bathed in rest as I rode through the ridiculously overcrowded streets between Santacruz and Bandra. Wind in my face; a view from the highway of the Arabian Sea. Breathtaking every time. I wondered, "Is this really my life right now?"
"Bas," I said to the bhaiya, letting him know that he had taken me far enough. Forty-five Rupees. He was kind.
Stepping out again, I went looking for them, and sought them before they could seek me. Perhaps the first time that has happened to them. Christ in me? SO excited to be around them. He loves.
They begged. I smiled. I told them to follow me. Other onlookers thought something was wrong and were harsh with them. They asked me if there was a problem. I wanted to say, "They live on the street and are treated like the dirt that cakes their skin. Don't you think that is a problem?" But instead I smiled and told them that I came to have dinner with my friends. I wanted them to follow me. It threw the onlookers off-guard to see me enjoying them so much.
I gathered a few kids. For a few hours I was the mother of six young, energetic, feisty, and beautiful kids. We crossed the street. Human Frogger. I held them back when something with wheels comes racing our way, even though I knew they have done this for far longer than I have. I loved them. I loved that night. I loved Him. I was Beaming.
We walked. Words were lost in translation. I wanted them to choose their favorite place to eat. I asked those who walk by to translate words to and from them. Most were eager to help, but thought I was foolish. "They are just taking advantage of you, you know. Don't buy them anything."
But grace makes no distinction.
No one took His life; He gave it up on His own accord.
Big. Astronomical. Difference.
We walked some more. I looked back to make sure all six were with me. Something happened that I knew would affect me for the rest of my life. I saw one of my boys turn to beg someone else.
I heard the heart of the Shepherd in that moment...I wanted to say, "Child! If you just follow me, you won't have to beg anyone else. You don't even have to beg me because I am giving to you freely. Follow Me; right now I am leading you to food for your body and love for your soul. Come!"
I said, "Ey! Chullo! Aja!"
In English: "Hey! Let's go! Come!"
He looked at me, snapped out of his begging mode, smiled, and did something that resembled an Irish jig. Then he followed me.
The kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but a matter of righteousness, faith and joy in the Holy Spirit.
I have eaten with the poor who could not repay me. It has never been about food. It is always about dispersing grace; the lifeblood of the kingdom. And dispersing it and receiving it are usually done in the same motion. There is one Giver. He opens His hand and satisfies the desire of every living thing.
Mumbai. Night. Spirit in me was jumping and urging me to go out. I didn't know where He would take me; I just knew I was going somewhere. He filled me with joy.
"By faith Abraham went out, not knowing where he was going..." Hebrews 11.
I had a small bag with me. I stepped out. The elevator took me down six levels.
"Take nothing with you..." Matthew 9.
I took a walk back upstairs. Giddy. Empty hands now. Full heart of Abba's love that was begging to be expressed.
"Having nothing yet possessing all things." 2 Corinthians 6.
A walk down six flights of stairs. A step out into the night. One foot in front of the other. Confidence; thoughts of mighty protection invisible to me becoming visible to those who would harm me. A quiet smile. Papa's got me. He's leading me. I'm excited.
A road. A rickshaw. A bhaiya.
"Carter Road?"
He didn't understand what I said.
"I'm sorry ma'am..."
Sovereignty. Guess I'm not going there tonight. I laughed to myself and thought of the next place I knew.
"Linking Road?"
I said it before I thought it through. Sovereignty.
"Yes ma'am."
Ahh...yes. That was where I met those kids and adults who live and sleep outside of McDonald's and KFC.
Here we go.
Twenty minutes. Maybe thirty. Bathed in rest as I rode through the ridiculously overcrowded streets between Santacruz and Bandra. Wind in my face; a view from the highway of the Arabian Sea. Breathtaking every time. I wondered, "Is this really my life right now?"
"Bas," I said to the bhaiya, letting him know that he had taken me far enough. Forty-five Rupees. He was kind.
Stepping out again, I went looking for them, and sought them before they could seek me. Perhaps the first time that has happened to them. Christ in me? SO excited to be around them. He loves.
They begged. I smiled. I told them to follow me. Other onlookers thought something was wrong and were harsh with them. They asked me if there was a problem. I wanted to say, "They live on the street and are treated like the dirt that cakes their skin. Don't you think that is a problem?" But instead I smiled and told them that I came to have dinner with my friends. I wanted them to follow me. It threw the onlookers off-guard to see me enjoying them so much.
I gathered a few kids. For a few hours I was the mother of six young, energetic, feisty, and beautiful kids. We crossed the street. Human Frogger. I held them back when something with wheels comes racing our way, even though I knew they have done this for far longer than I have. I loved them. I loved that night. I loved Him. I was Beaming.
We walked. Words were lost in translation. I wanted them to choose their favorite place to eat. I asked those who walk by to translate words to and from them. Most were eager to help, but thought I was foolish. "They are just taking advantage of you, you know. Don't buy them anything."
But grace makes no distinction.
No one took His life; He gave it up on His own accord.
Big. Astronomical. Difference.
We walked some more. I looked back to make sure all six were with me. Something happened that I knew would affect me for the rest of my life. I saw one of my boys turn to beg someone else.
I heard the heart of the Shepherd in that moment...I wanted to say, "Child! If you just follow me, you won't have to beg anyone else. You don't even have to beg me because I am giving to you freely. Follow Me; right now I am leading you to food for your body and love for your soul. Come!"
I said, "Ey! Chullo! Aja!"
In English: "Hey! Let's go! Come!"
He looked at me, snapped out of his begging mode, smiled, and did something that resembled an Irish jig. Then he followed me.
The kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but a matter of righteousness, faith and joy in the Holy Spirit.
I have eaten with the poor who could not repay me. It has never been about food. It is always about dispersing grace; the lifeblood of the kingdom. And dispersing it and receiving it are usually done in the same motion. There is one Giver. He opens His hand and satisfies the desire of every living thing.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Warriors of Grace
Grace. Grace upon this. Grace for that and that and that. The real thing -- not just truth about grace, which is no substitute.
There is a movement and a revival stirring and reaching higher momentum now...indeed it is already here. It is about grace.
But be careful, Church.
Do not despise those who would put you under a yoke of slavery.
Instead be a warrior of grace to them.
Look to the rock from which you were hewn.
Do not forget that you, too, were rescued from the slavery that you see them in.
If you are disgusted with false religion, good. You're on the right road.
But it gets narrower yet.
There will be those who tell you that you are completely wrong.
They will tell you that you are lazy.
They will tell you that you are taking the easy way out.
They will tell you that you are a part of a feel-good cult.
They will tell you many things.
Yet not even Christ answered the fool according to his folly.
And believe me, they do not know His heart. They need to be rescued by this grace that you celebrate!
He stirred the waters AS A RESULT OF heeding the will of His Father.
He stirred the waters, but He did not argue.
Zeal for His Father's house consumed Him, but He HUMBLED Himself.
Seek the ones who are caught in religion.
There is an easy yoke with their name on it.
Do not be afraid to be criticized. Fear of man will prove to be a snare. The spotless Lamb was accused by those who were dead in their own sin. To think of it -- the blameless one pronounced guilty by those born of the seed of Adam! And yet there was justice.
Let yourself be vulnerable, speak the truth in love, and expect to be wounded.
He showed us how, didn't He?
Grace goes there.
It goes anywhere.
If you clog the flow of grace, withholding it from those who withhold it from you because "they just don't deserve it," you have forgotten the reason it came. And yes, that can hurt. But there is grace for your pain. To withhold it from others is ultimately to withhold yourself from experiencing its riches.
Do not be afraid of those who don't understand you.
Your Father who is in heaven sees you, and He is your judge.
The verdict on your soul is righteous and blameless in Christ.
Let His verdict be enough for you, though an army besiege you and accuse this grace.
Isn't that interesting -- grace under accusation?
Walk by faith and not by the sound of accusations that point to your behavior, which has been atoned for. And keep in mind that some of these accusations will be solely based on man's unfulfilled expectation. To dust it shall return, but the Word of the Lord will stand forever.
There is rest and joy to be had even in the midst of accusation.
And OH how I long for us to take hold of it!
The one who accuses has been disarmed.
The One Who shares His joy with us is for us, and who could be against us?
Let there be no condemnation for those who are in Christ.
Let those who condemn others, and therefore themselves, in the pride of their own religiosity -- let them know this:
They don't have to fear.
Everything is paid for.
Relax.
We're free. Really.
Enjoy.
Spread the word.
There is a movement and a revival stirring and reaching higher momentum now...indeed it is already here. It is about grace.
But be careful, Church.
Do not despise those who would put you under a yoke of slavery.
Instead be a warrior of grace to them.
Look to the rock from which you were hewn.
Do not forget that you, too, were rescued from the slavery that you see them in.
If you are disgusted with false religion, good. You're on the right road.
But it gets narrower yet.
There will be those who tell you that you are completely wrong.
They will tell you that you are lazy.
They will tell you that you are taking the easy way out.
They will tell you that you are a part of a feel-good cult.
They will tell you many things.
Yet not even Christ answered the fool according to his folly.
And believe me, they do not know His heart. They need to be rescued by this grace that you celebrate!
He stirred the waters AS A RESULT OF heeding the will of His Father.
He stirred the waters, but He did not argue.
Zeal for His Father's house consumed Him, but He HUMBLED Himself.
Seek the ones who are caught in religion.
There is an easy yoke with their name on it.
Do not be afraid to be criticized. Fear of man will prove to be a snare. The spotless Lamb was accused by those who were dead in their own sin. To think of it -- the blameless one pronounced guilty by those born of the seed of Adam! And yet there was justice.
Let yourself be vulnerable, speak the truth in love, and expect to be wounded.
He showed us how, didn't He?
Grace goes there.
It goes anywhere.
If you clog the flow of grace, withholding it from those who withhold it from you because "they just don't deserve it," you have forgotten the reason it came. And yes, that can hurt. But there is grace for your pain. To withhold it from others is ultimately to withhold yourself from experiencing its riches.
Do not be afraid of those who don't understand you.
Your Father who is in heaven sees you, and He is your judge.
The verdict on your soul is righteous and blameless in Christ.
Let His verdict be enough for you, though an army besiege you and accuse this grace.
Isn't that interesting -- grace under accusation?
Walk by faith and not by the sound of accusations that point to your behavior, which has been atoned for. And keep in mind that some of these accusations will be solely based on man's unfulfilled expectation. To dust it shall return, but the Word of the Lord will stand forever.
There is rest and joy to be had even in the midst of accusation.
And OH how I long for us to take hold of it!
The one who accuses has been disarmed.
The One Who shares His joy with us is for us, and who could be against us?
Let there be no condemnation for those who are in Christ.
Let those who condemn others, and therefore themselves, in the pride of their own religiosity -- let them know this:
They don't have to fear.
Everything is paid for.
Relax.
We're free. Really.
Enjoy.
Spread the word.
Saturday, December 24, 2011
the LOVE
She was crying, and I was there. I opened my arms to her, but she didn't come. I went to her, picked her up, turned her around and sat her in my lap. I rocked her back and forth while I sang to her softly. The Love...the LOVE. Ohh...it was deep.
My heart was saying,
"I know...I know, child. I see you. You're a mess. You're a mess and you'll be a mess for a while. You've been wounded. But listen...do you hear it? Oh, child, you can rest in my arms. Love is here. I know you are afraid, but child, listen to me sing to you. Find comfort in the rhythm of love that is swaying you back and forth. Into your brokenness I AM COMING with all of my love because this love alters brokenness into wholeness. Sit here in this embrace, BEHOLD the love that surrounds you now, and just listen while I sing over you. Listen...rest...and stay. You cry now, but you will sing. Your legs are frail now, but they will dance. Come. Come and receive this living, healing water. The One who gives does not hold back. He too knows brokenness, because He was broken for us. Be still and hear that love swirling all around you. It is never not here."
"No dark can consume light; no death greater than this life. We are not forgotten. Hope is found when we say: I believe in sun even when it's not shining. I believe in love even when I don't feel it. And I believe in God even when He is silent. I believe, I believe..."
My heart was saying,
"I know...I know, child. I see you. You're a mess. You're a mess and you'll be a mess for a while. You've been wounded. But listen...do you hear it? Oh, child, you can rest in my arms. Love is here. I know you are afraid, but child, listen to me sing to you. Find comfort in the rhythm of love that is swaying you back and forth. Into your brokenness I AM COMING with all of my love because this love alters brokenness into wholeness. Sit here in this embrace, BEHOLD the love that surrounds you now, and just listen while I sing over you. Listen...rest...and stay. You cry now, but you will sing. Your legs are frail now, but they will dance. Come. Come and receive this living, healing water. The One who gives does not hold back. He too knows brokenness, because He was broken for us. Be still and hear that love swirling all around you. It is never not here."
"No dark can consume light; no death greater than this life. We are not forgotten. Hope is found when we say: I believe in sun even when it's not shining. I believe in love even when I don't feel it. And I believe in God even when He is silent. I believe, I believe..."
Friday, December 2, 2011
But if we love...
*Pictures will be added soon.
She's as gorgeous as gorgeous comes with her almond eyes and glowing smile. You would never know the suffering she has endured or how persistent sickness has been throughout her short life.
Her mother: murdered.
Her father: left.
Her extended family: abandoned her because she is a girl.
Before she was one: she lived on the streets of a slum.
Sickness: parasites in her brain resulting in seizures as contracted through the slum water she drank.
Her name: "Light."
The light shines in the darkness and the darkness cannot overcome it.
It's true. It's really, really true.
There are forces that do not want that child alive. But greater forces, namely, Jesus, have another idea in mind.
He is Healer, and He is healing her.
He is Abba, and He has adopted her.
He is love, and He loves her.
He is Emmanuel, and He is with her.
When I think of her, two words come to mind:
Sloppy. Love.
When the younger children cry, she runs toward the crying. Even if they are in another part of the house. I don't know any other 5-year-olds like that.
When she comes up to me, she leans on me in such a way that if I move, she will lose her balance and fall. She leans all of herself on me, and on anyone who will let her. It's one of the many ways she exchanges love.
When I am not expecting it, she will say, "Auntie, I am liking you so much," or, "Auntie, I am thanking for you so much."
Note: Her words to me say far more about her than about me.
One day, she followed me up to the roof, took my hand in hers and said so maturely, "Auntie, thank you for your help to me." In disbelief and choked back tears I said to her, "Jyoti, how am I helping you?"
"You are giving work."
She understands that my being there is meant as love for her. She gets it...that check cleared.
Another interaction with her is always at the forefront of my memory. It was early morning, and we were just sitting together. She was sitting -- leaning back -- in my lap as I swayed her back and forth to the rhythm that Love was beating in me.
Later that day that memory was rewritten in my mind. Instead of seeing me holding her, I saw Jesus holding me as I leaned into His love and shared it with the one in my arms.
When I held her, He held me. I held her because He holds me. I held her as if I were holding Him -- loving her as I love Him, because He loves me and has given me the Spirit who readily loves.
From Him and to Him and through Him are all things.
From Him: "We love because He first loved us." 1 John 4:19
To Him: "Whatever you do to the least of these brothers of Mine, you do to Me." Matthew 25:40
Through Him: "We have come to know and rely on [believe] the love God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him." 1 John 4:16
"No one has seen God at any time. But if we love one another, God's love abides in us, and is perfected in us."
1 John 4:12
It looked like Jesus loving Jesus through Jesus. And it was beautiful.
She's as gorgeous as gorgeous comes with her almond eyes and glowing smile. You would never know the suffering she has endured or how persistent sickness has been throughout her short life.
Her mother: murdered.
Her father: left.
Her extended family: abandoned her because she is a girl.
Before she was one: she lived on the streets of a slum.
Sickness: parasites in her brain resulting in seizures as contracted through the slum water she drank.
Her name: "Light."
The light shines in the darkness and the darkness cannot overcome it.
It's true. It's really, really true.
There are forces that do not want that child alive. But greater forces, namely, Jesus, have another idea in mind.
He is Healer, and He is healing her.
He is Abba, and He has adopted her.
He is love, and He loves her.
He is Emmanuel, and He is with her.
When I think of her, two words come to mind:
Sloppy. Love.
When the younger children cry, she runs toward the crying. Even if they are in another part of the house. I don't know any other 5-year-olds like that.
When she comes up to me, she leans on me in such a way that if I move, she will lose her balance and fall. She leans all of herself on me, and on anyone who will let her. It's one of the many ways she exchanges love.
When I am not expecting it, she will say, "Auntie, I am liking you so much," or, "Auntie, I am thanking for you so much."
Note: Her words to me say far more about her than about me.
One day, she followed me up to the roof, took my hand in hers and said so maturely, "Auntie, thank you for your help to me." In disbelief and choked back tears I said to her, "Jyoti, how am I helping you?"
"You are giving work."
She understands that my being there is meant as love for her. She gets it...that check cleared.
Another interaction with her is always at the forefront of my memory. It was early morning, and we were just sitting together. She was sitting -- leaning back -- in my lap as I swayed her back and forth to the rhythm that Love was beating in me.
Later that day that memory was rewritten in my mind. Instead of seeing me holding her, I saw Jesus holding me as I leaned into His love and shared it with the one in my arms.
When I held her, He held me. I held her because He holds me. I held her as if I were holding Him -- loving her as I love Him, because He loves me and has given me the Spirit who readily loves.
From Him and to Him and through Him are all things.
From Him: "We love because He first loved us." 1 John 4:19
To Him: "Whatever you do to the least of these brothers of Mine, you do to Me." Matthew 25:40
Through Him: "We have come to know and rely on [believe] the love God has for us. God is love, and whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him." 1 John 4:16
"No one has seen God at any time. But if we love one another, God's love abides in us, and is perfected in us."
1 John 4:12
It looked like Jesus loving Jesus through Jesus. And it was beautiful.
Sunday, November 20, 2011
Two Masters
They wander around looking for someone to beg. They've studied people; they easily judge who has the most wealth and they make a beeline for those with light skin. Persistence. Their entire life involves looking as pitiful as possible -- whether by their choice or someone else's. Sometimes their fingers, arms or legs are cut off to provoke more pity, and hopefully money, from people.
When I see them I am filled with rage. Holy rage. Not at them, but at their master. Not a human, but a spirit of poverty. Slavery. I rage against the thing that has so many convinced that they have to beg just right or look desperate enough to get attention from people.
But sometimes, I think just like them.
And that thing, that dark master is found all over the world. I have seen it in India. I have seen it in the States -- in churches. I have seen it in the Middle East, in Africa, in Europe, and in Mexico. And though it is very visible here, it is much deeper than that and goes far beyond a haggard and beautiful hand reaching out for a coin. But they need something they didn't know they could ask for. And did I mention that some people don't even have hands to beg with?
What master is this? It is the master that says, "You're unwanted. Get out of here. You're a burden. No one really loves you. There's not enough room for you. Don't even bother speaking, because no one will want to listen. You're hideous. You're not worth showing yourself to anyone. No one would even enjoy the real you. Stop dreaming and stop your hoping for love. It's preposterous."
I am appalled by how common it is for people to form their lives and beliefs around these things.
But grace is in the business of undoing...so consider me undone. And there is more.
The master of grace, who is full of truth, says this, "You are always welcome and always wanted. Be at home. You don't have to beg; just receive. You are worth enough to be seen and being seen does not deter love from you. Rest. You don't have to work for what can't be earned. Everything is paid for; just enjoy."
I have never been more aware of His grace than I have been the past few months. It's not because it wasn't there before, but because He made me aware of it...and it's honestly changed everything. It's not rarely given; only rarely received. And even being able to receive it is a gift. So it's all-around marvelous and baffling because Jesus chose to bring Himself glory by bringing us joy at a greusome cost that He absolutely did not have to go through...and now we desire what He desires because He changed us so that He could share His joy with us even though we all might as well have been the ones who drove the nails into his hands.
It's just good news, people.
It's the thing that changed everything for me.
In the words of a friend of mine, "Let us trust in Him, because when we trust Him we receive His love and when we receive His love then we can rest. Know that He wants us to rest in Him."
I hesitate to post this as-is because there is so much more.
To be continued,
A heart captured by grace
When I see them I am filled with rage. Holy rage. Not at them, but at their master. Not a human, but a spirit of poverty. Slavery. I rage against the thing that has so many convinced that they have to beg just right or look desperate enough to get attention from people.
But sometimes, I think just like them.
And that thing, that dark master is found all over the world. I have seen it in India. I have seen it in the States -- in churches. I have seen it in the Middle East, in Africa, in Europe, and in Mexico. And though it is very visible here, it is much deeper than that and goes far beyond a haggard and beautiful hand reaching out for a coin. But they need something they didn't know they could ask for. And did I mention that some people don't even have hands to beg with?
What master is this? It is the master that says, "You're unwanted. Get out of here. You're a burden. No one really loves you. There's not enough room for you. Don't even bother speaking, because no one will want to listen. You're hideous. You're not worth showing yourself to anyone. No one would even enjoy the real you. Stop dreaming and stop your hoping for love. It's preposterous."
I am appalled by how common it is for people to form their lives and beliefs around these things.
But grace is in the business of undoing...so consider me undone. And there is more.
The master of grace, who is full of truth, says this, "You are always welcome and always wanted. Be at home. You don't have to beg; just receive. You are worth enough to be seen and being seen does not deter love from you. Rest. You don't have to work for what can't be earned. Everything is paid for; just enjoy."
I have never been more aware of His grace than I have been the past few months. It's not because it wasn't there before, but because He made me aware of it...and it's honestly changed everything. It's not rarely given; only rarely received. And even being able to receive it is a gift. So it's all-around marvelous and baffling because Jesus chose to bring Himself glory by bringing us joy at a greusome cost that He absolutely did not have to go through...and now we desire what He desires because He changed us so that He could share His joy with us even though we all might as well have been the ones who drove the nails into his hands.
It's just good news, people.
It's the thing that changed everything for me.
In the words of a friend of mine, "Let us trust in Him, because when we trust Him we receive His love and when we receive His love then we can rest. Know that He wants us to rest in Him."
I hesitate to post this as-is because there is so much more.
To be continued,
A heart captured by grace
Tuesday, November 15, 2011
Royalty
My Saniya,
You remind me of a queen. Beauty flows from you as Light adorns you. Love fills your heart and overflows. You are such a treasure. Whatever joy is in the air is multiplied when you are around.
You are an old soul. I love how obsessed you are with Jesus. When so many other six year olds fall falsely in love with celebrities and fictional characters, you have made Jesus your hero. I still love to remember the day when you tied a cape around you in a super-hero-like manner and went around "healing" the boys who were playing dead with David Uncle. Laura Auntie asked if you were a doctor. But you said, "No! Jesus Christ!"
I savored every moment and cherish every memory with you -- just because you are who you are. I especially loved lying next to you on the middle bunk as you told me stories about Jesus when you were supposed to be sleeping instead. You understand things. You told me in excellent English -- which is your second or third language -- how He was beaten and killed because we do bad things. You demonstrated the evil one with two fingers and said, "This one...don't say his name, it's not good name..." Your face lit up and your voice changed when you said, "Auntie, after three days -- Jesus wake up-ing!" You kept interrupting yourself to say, "Auntie, this is such good story...beautiful, beautiful story."
I never knew whether to laugh with delight or cry tears of joy when I was around you. Something about you reaches to the deepest part of my heart and awakens it, frees it, to come out and play in the Light. You are beautiful in every way and you beautify the world around you just by existing.
And child, those eyes...they shine. You love. I have learned much from you and your freedom from self-concern. You are genuinely one of the funniest people I know: Saniya Kangaroo.
I love hiding behind the church room door with you -- or from you. I love that you let me hold you, spin you around, and hang you upside down by your ankles while you shower the room with laughter. It amazes me how you love me -- which says far more about you than me.
I will never forget the day during lunch when I asked what you want to do when you become older. "Nurse? Teacher?" I asked. "Mother," you replied. And it made my heart sing.
My prayers for you are often and my thoughts of you are sweet. May nothing hinder you from telling everyone about your Hero. May shame or fear never come upon you. Live joyfully as His precious daugher, knowing that you are always welcome and always wanted in His presence, which is always with you. Thank you for being a beautiful example of living fully in freedom. You taught me well. I love you, my daughter.
Saturday, November 5, 2011
Sonship
My Shanu,
You are wonderful.
You stole my heart when I first saw you dance. I love that you dance so freely, yet subtly, for no one's entertainment but your own. I love your heart. It was evident today when Sonu grabbed the large piece of styrofoam from your hands and broke it into two pieces for his own benefit. Your face showed no sign of anger.
It was as if you had not been wronged.
And you were so humbly sweeping the dust in the kitchen. Most eight year old boys I know would complain about that. But not you.
I love being around you, sitting with you, calling your name and getting a dance in response. Your heart is beautiful. Simple. Loving. You are so playful but you are not naughty -- which is a rare thing to come by.
I am sitting in the church room with all the other children during study time. I keep stopping this letter to look up at you. You are such a handsome young man.
I especially love the way you eat -- with your head back and only your thumb and forefinger touching your food while the rest of your fingers curl loosely.
I love your voice. I can pick it out of a crowd of voices. Even your slight lisp is endearing and makes my heart happy. Your smile is like sunshine.
When I think about your future, I am filled with hope. I imagine you leading and caring for others, and it makes my heart swell with love and joy. You are precious. A gem. You are quiet, but you are noticed. By me, by Sir and Ma'am, and by our Love Jesus Christ.
I love how you pray for your father, who chose not to care for you and who continually threatens your sisters some nights in his drunkenness. "Pray for my dad; he needs a belt," will always sing grace to my ears.
May your life be filled with the love that has always surrounded you. Live freely, my son, and fear nothing. Rejoice, because Jesus defeated your worst enemy.
I could never forget you. I will miss being in your presence and I will pray for you every day. I love you with all my heart. Thank you for loving me too.
Love,
Chorta Auntie
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