It's almost 2 in the morning and I am...inspired. I'm soothed by the peace of Christ as I recline against Him in this chair in a dimly lit kitchen. Thoughts are floating in and out of my mind and I desire to write them.
For starters, I just realized that the Irish flag looks like an Italian flag that has been sitting out in the sun for a few months. I also observed that the southernmost part of India is still in the Northern Hemisphere, so I'm wondering if I'll ever make it to the other side of the equator. It really is just a wondering -- a curiosity that is content to be anywhere in the world as long as I am in Him. But I must admit that I daily crave to be on the Arabian Peninsula. Daily. And the fact that the flight to India I just booked includes a stop in Bahrain excites me to the core. And I think I realized why some people consider some countries to be "closed," even though I don't believe in such a thing with His power. A visa to get into Bahrain allows a maximum stay of 28 days. Wouldn't it be cool to move to Jordan or Iraq or Lebanon and take somewhat frequent visits there? I daydream and scheme about ways to dwell in "those" lands and cultivate faithfulness. But His power is so much greater than my wildest imaginations! And I have some wild ones, courtesy of the Lion of the tribe of Judah.
Bah bah bah, bah Bahrain.
Anyway -- India. As I said, I booked a ticket there the other day. I originally thought it was going to be a one-way ticket, and was just as content either way. But it seemed good -- a phrase used to describe the decision-making of the disciples in the book of Acts -- to purchase a round trip ticket instead. I'm used to flying internationally with passengers I know, but this time it'll just be Jesus and me. There's something particularly sweet about that.
I mean it when I say that trust in Him is all I'm riding on right now. Three out of the six times I have traveled internationally, Spirit was specific in showing me the end from the beginning. I knew without a doubt that all the money was going to come in, that the planes would land, and that I would be well-taken-care-of.
I was trusting "that" and trusting "for." But this time, it's just trust. Period. Spirit hasn't shown me an "end" picture this time. He's just graced me with a lively faith that is so certain of His love for and faithfulness to me.
His victory is that I can't lose. He is GOING to provide for me regardless of where I am in this world. I am His precious! Even if I leave this country with nothing in "my" bank account, I am trusting that what I need will be there every time I go to an ATM. And if not, then He will do something even better than that!
Money does not provide for me.
Food is not the sustenance of my physical existence.
The extent of financial security is simple trust in His loving provision. He has unlimited resources. He is unstoppable and MIGHTY to save.
And please hear this, and consider it with your mind of Christ:
Faith is not a work.
I can't boast in it.
Faith is a gift. Trust is a choice. I think.
And when my faith wanes, He whispers to my soul,
There's grace for that.
There's grace for that...
In the recent seasons of my life, I have found that what keeps fueling my trust the most is a realization of His faithfulness. And when I want to delight in Him more, all I do is ask Him to show me how He delights in me. And when I want to love others, I ask Him to show me how He loves me. I used to think that was selfish. But it's just about knowing Him.
He died to know me. I don't understand that love. But I want to.
There will be ways that He provides for me and miracles that He does in and through me that I will be bursting to tell His Church. I speak from experience! But the greatest part about His provision and His power isn't the stories that will result -- it's knowing Him and experiencing Him personally through it all. HIM -- Jesus Christ. The One who is enthroned as we speak and is forever surrounded by those who impulsively repeat, "Holy! Holy! Holy!" as a natural response of beholding His goodness in its entirety.
For His sake, I want to know Him. He is so worthy. The best (only) thing anyone can do "for" Him is to know Him. I can't know Him for you just as I can't eat for you. He is just so much. He is the symphony and the conductor; the treasure and the chest; the ocean and the rain. He is the song that I sing and the air that I breathe and He loves me more than I could ever thank Him for while I remain an earth-dweller. But He's prepared another place for me.
And I'm GOING. I'm going to be with Him forever. Just as I am going to bed in a few minutes, I am going to heaven. Paradise. Gold. Pearls. Light. Unhindered and unceasing intimacy with my Precious.
I ache for that. And I am not alone. I don't understand why I sometimes refuse or resist that ache when it arises here...but He is persistent. And He is gracious. And His love drives out my fear because my sins have been punished so that I would not be.
He LOVES us.