There are so many blogs I haven't posted because they were incomplete or I didn't like the flow of my own words. My mom told me a month or so ago that I am a perfectionist when it comes to writing. I hadn't considered that before, but I think she's right. The blogs that come to mind are usually incomplete, or there is a full body paragraph with no introduction or conclusion. Maybe my thoughts don't have a beginning or an end because neither does He? Who knows. :) And why is an introduction or a conclusion important anyway? I was confining myself a little bit in putting such a high expectation on my written words. It is for freedom He set us free, and i have things to say, so here i go, with no introduction and with a run-on sentence and two intentionally lower-cased "I"s.
Lately, I have been absolutely fascinated by and enamored with the promise that God is always going to provide for me. It is like I am realizing it for the first time. Wherever I am in the world, He is going to sustain me -- until He brings me Home, which sounds amazing right now. As I was reveling in this with my closest human friend, she said, "Yes! His victory is that you can't lose!"
It sheds light on freedom and joy for me. Here's an example:
In the recent past, whenever I would meet up with a friend for food, my meal would always be eaten in tension if who was paying for it was not previously discussed. I am very much a saver when it comes to money, and I like to think I have good reasons for doing so. But His grace trumps my good intentions, just as it trumped Eve's. His promises to provide for me cannot be hindered or undone.
So He refined my mind in this way: No matter whose wallet the money comes from, God is the one Who just put chicken in my belly. (I say chicken because of how much I enjoy it and how often I eat it.) It doesn't matter how expensive it was; He considered that and is fulfilling His promises to provide. Understanding that gives me the liberty to give freely without giving cheaply.
Most of the meals I have eaten recently have been eaten in awe and joyful thanks. My Father feeds me! Daily! With good things! That is all I see when I eat or drink anymore -- not dollar signs or empty pockets or good intentions. Awareness of His grace causes me to eat in tension no longer. I am resisting the urge to counter-balance everything I just said with a reminder to not be unwise with what He has given us. But grace, once realized, instructs. It is not limiting. And there's enough grace, I once heard, to waste.
Enjoy His faithfulness.